Dear Anonymous.
By FRED NZOMO
Am sorry for calling you anonymous, but if I knew your name then I could not be guilty of this offence. And how I wish I knew you. That remains a riddle in my life, but am trusting God, that you are fine wherever you are.
I have sat
down, and gave our future life together a deep thought then decided to talk to
you about it. And why am I writing this to you and yet I don’t know you? Well,
I just want us to talk. Yes, have a real talk.
Take your time and be a part of it.
Marriage is
the epitome of everyone’s life. Everybody wishes to fall in love. Everyone
wishes to get married in future. Everyone wishes to have a wife or a husband of
their own choice. Everyone wishes to have that one person whom they will love
and probably walk down the aisle and live together happily there after till the
end of their time. Love is universal. And it is the pleasure of everybody to
love at some point in their life.
I am not a
relationship consultant, adviser or a counselor for that matter but I have
found myself having questions which I don’t know whether I will get answers or
not.
One of the
questions I have is what really happens when people get married or get into a
relationship, whether they are dating, courting or flirting? Yes that’s my
question because every morning people are divorcing, every morning
relationships are breaking, but why? Yes
true love does exist, but does it mean the same true love does come to an end?
Am tempted to think yes, love does come to an end. So what are some of the
things that make love vanish from our hearts and the next minute you won’t want to hear the name of somebody whom you
had declared your love to. It surprises me, it really does when I hear a fellow
talk so badly about their former boyfriends, girlfriends or wives once the
‘divorce’ or ‘breakup’ has been finalized. Somebody whom you shared a bed with,
now you don’t want to see them! I really wonder what happens. But that is for
another day, today I just want to talk to you my future wife, I hope you will
try to find answers to my questions.
First, I
will love you the day I will meet you and I will do so for the rest of our
lives. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that you are satisfied. But
then again I also beg, that whatever I will do, however little it will be, I
request you to always be grateful. I will not want to hear you tell the whole world
about this and that, or how I am being irresponsible. It is our union, and the
world has got nothing to do with it. It is ours and only us can deal with it.
Word. Am saying it will be ours because ladies tend to forget and assume the
family belongs to a man alone and that you, ladies are not part of its making.
That is a naked lie. The day I will lack a coin in my pockets, I trust God
because we will eat. And if you happen to use your coins to buy anything in the
house, or pay rent among other bills, please for heaven sake don’t make the
whole world know how lazy I am, how poor I am, or how irresponsible I have
turned out to be and so forth. Always remember that it’s our family and we are
building it together.
Secondly, I
promise to be faithful to you and you alone. Am born again and I like upholding
what has been said in the holy book. One
man for one woman. I will never cheat on you; I will be there for you as my
only wife in all circumstances. You can
take that to the bank. It’s a promise.
I promise to respect the whole of you and
everybody else related to you, your parents, your siblings and your family at
large, they are your relatives and I will take them as my own relatives. I have
relatives too, I will expect you to treat them like the way you would treat
your own realtives financial status notwithstanding. My mum loves me so much, so kindly be aware
of this, because I will never want you to start crying ati oh am a mama’s boy! No,
am close to my mum and that’s it. It’s my hope that you will live with it that
way, but when it comes to decision making family wise your views will get the
first priority from me as long as they are valid. And in case you are more educated
than me, honey let that not be a reason for looking down on me. Education wise I
have tried. I need a round of applause.
I promise to
be disciplined at all times, when around you or around anybody else as I have been
since birth. Having said that, I know we will be having some light moments as a
couple, share jokes, visit the gym
together and go swimming pamoja among other things like visiting dubai for Christmas
shopping and visiting Seychelles for our private holidays .
I will trust
you as my wife, as my friend and as my unrivaled soul mate. Your life will be
mine and my life will be yours. When I go out with my boys, please I beg you;
never start assuming that I am with other women out there. You are the only one
I love and that gives you a guarantee in totality that you will be the only
woman in my life. Suspicion is the most dreaded killer number one of relationships.
As I
conclude, communication is very vital. For every relationship to be successful,
then communication has to be on top of the agenda. I might not be good when it
comes to opening up about my life and what’s up in it but I promise to do my
best. I am a man of few words so be aware of that. Having said that, I like
embracing healthy conversations and being told what’s going on. If it’s an
issue then bring it to the table we deal with it. I won’t like it when I find
you crying and when I ask what’s wrong, the best you can tell me is ‘nothing’.
Nothing has never been wrong. Always something is wrong. When I wrong you,
swiry forgive me. I promise to forgive you at all times. Let this thing called
misunderstandings never be a reason for our wrangles.
I will need
transparency from you, I will be a man of integrity, and I expect you to be a
virtuous woman of my life. Honesty is a vise that I can’t just leave out, it is
very vital in our lives. As for the number of kids we will have, I choose to
leave that to God, he knows, but a family of four kids is okay.
I have said enough
as at now and if we focus and embrace on the ‘small’ things I have mentioned
here and there, I promise you that our marriage will stand the test of time. We
will do our part and God will do the rest. All the best in your life and I wish you well
till that day we will meet. And make sure you hide yourself in God, because that’s
where I will find you. As at now enjoy
your peace.
I LOVE YOU DARLING
Yours in love
FHN
SHALOM
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